Plans, Cancer, Serendipity

We've just survived a cancer scare. This is our first major health scare, so we're calling it our debut into the stage of aging bodies, boring conversations about our current aches and pains, and expensive prescriptions.

Stephen's doctor has been monitoring his PSA for about a year. Because it has remained high, he referred him to a urologist recently. Did you know they can do a digital exam of the prostate gland? (I will leave the details up to your imagination.) Since his PSA was high and his prostate enlarged, the urologist did a biopsy and told us that there was a 30-50% chance of cancer. We got the lab results yesterday: no cancer detected.

Waiting for results offered me a great opportunity to practice serendipity. Stephen gave me a book for Christmas by Richard M. Eyre called "The Three Deceivers/ The Three Alternatives." The three deceivers of this world are Control, Ownership, and Independence. When we live our lives from these paradigms, the results are not what we've been led to believe. Guess what the alternative paradigm is to thinking you have control over your life? Serendipity. Which I define as keeping an open mind and heart, so that whatever comes into your life you can welcome with optimism and joy. Yes, even "bad" things. Like cancer or cancelled plans.

Maybe you've heard stuff like this before. I had. How cancer brings its own gifts. How people learn valuable lessons through difficult trials. Sometimes it just feels like great theory, or great theology, so I do welcome opportunities to test whether I'm really "getting" it. Last week was an interesting test of my commitment to Serendipity.

I did remain calm and open, unworried. My approach to potential trouble is to play out various scenarios that may occur, "practice" my response, then put it all in a mental box to pull out as necessary. I can do this fairly fast now, perhaps because I include the Lord in the practice runs. So last week I created three boxes: A) Stephen doesn't have cancer and we'll proceed with our life (and our Big Trip) as planned. B) He does have cancer, but we can manage it and still do a modified trip. C) He's going to die soon and all my plans will change in a major way.

Remember that General Conference talk by Joseph B. Wirthlin called "Come What May -- and Love It"? That's the idea of Serendipity. Come what may -- I can handle it, I can be glad of it, I can love it. I believe in living life like that. We really don't have control over anything but our own will. So we can decide how to respond to whatever comes our way. That we can control.

Traveling with an attitude of Serendipity is crucial to a good experience. No matter how much I plan and prepare, no matter what my expectations, something will go "wrong" and lots of things won't be what I expect. So as I work on our travel plans, I'm always aware that Barcelona or Ibiza may not be what I anticipate, our home exchanges may have glitches, we're certain to get lost somewhere, someone will get sick, and it's bound to cost more than my careful budget projections. But that all makes me smile. Because I'm certain that Barcelona will offer up unexpected gifts, we'll find hidden gems of experience while we're lost, and the budget? Oh well.