DAVE'S DEATH

We just got word that Stephen's boss died today. He was at a conference in Florida when he had a couple of deep strokes a few days ago. He's been in a coma in a hospital there and died this morning. Dave was a friend of ours, just four months older than Stephen, and an all-around good guy. We are shocked and heartbroken.

Life can change so quickly. Unemployment. Illness. Accident. Death.

Would I be prepared? Would you?

I'm so deep into planning and preparing for our Big Trip that I begin to believe I have real control. That I can make happen what I want to happen. And often, that is true. Or seems so.
But the reality is, we control nothing. Not our families, not our stuff, not our plans, not our life. All we truly control is our own will.

Dave's death is a lesson for me in Serendipity. Again. A reminder to stay humble, to stay grateful, to stay flexible. To remember Who is in control. To remember to love life while I'm here. To remember to love.

Life is precious. And fragile. A gift of time and experience. I hope I use mine well. I hope you use yours well. I hope Dave is content with his, in retrospect.

Live well.

BLACK SKIRTS AND SKIMPY SHIRTS

It's all about simplicity. That's one of the great things about traveling. You have with you just your few clothes, your few books, your few choices. I love that! The first thing I do when I arrive at the motel or the condo or my mom's house is unpack my small suitcase and arrange my stuff. It's so freeing, to have just one drawer of things to wear, one little bag in the bathroom, a couple of books on the nightstand. Life is gloriously simple!

I'm packing today. Or practicing packing. Packing for nine months is really not much different than packing for a week. We three girls have our black skirts and our skimpy shirts. Skimpy as in lightweight. I've planned our trip to follow Summer all around the world. Stephen has his zip-off cargo pants and a pair of lightweight dress pants. I'm making piles on the bed. Here's what I have so far:

For us girls: 2 skirts (just 1 for Grace and Gloria), 2 shorts, 2 long pants, 6 blouses and shirts, 1 swimsuit, 1 nightgown, 5 pair of underwear, 3 pair of socks, 1 pair of good walking sandals, flip-flops, 1 light jacket.

For Stephen: 1 dress pants, 1 shorts, 1 zip-off pants, 6 shirts, swimsuit, underwear, socks, shoes, jacket. He doesn't own pajamas. (And I'm only taking a nightgown for the hostel halls.)

That should do it.

There is a difference, though, in packing for a long trip and for international travel. I have a separate pile with things like tampons, bathroom products, first-aid supplies, electronic stuff (including two new netbooks--what a great invention!), adapter and converter, sink stopper, calculator, clothesline, etc.. Then one more pile of passports, tickets, planner, notebooks, guidebooks, schoolwork.

I just bought airline tickets from Chicago to Guatemala on Mexicana, and from Guatemala to Atlanta on Spirit Air. Mexicana still allows you to check two bags free, but Spirit charges $15-$25 for each checked bag. Air travel is changing fast, and not always to our economic advantage. Spirit even charges $12 for a pre-assigned seat. Although, to be fair, the fares are staying low, and the airlines have to make money somehow. So I hope to fit everyone into a carryon bag. (I mean their stuff!) Though I'll have to deal with the stupid liquid/gel rule.

We're sorting and tossing and stashing like mad all the stuff we have here at home. Stuff is such a bother! Sometimes I wonder if I'm going on this trip just for the simplicity it promises. I'm hoping I learn something about bringing that simplicity home. I'm not a shopper, not into stuff. But still, the stuffed animals breed in the dark, the garage piles up with half-empty containers of brake fluid and fertilizer, and we all have too many clothes. How does that happen?

Someday I'd like to try the Walden Pond experiment, like Thoreau. For now, I'll enjoy the simplicity of traveling light. I'll don my black skirt and skimpy shirt (which I recently washed in the sink and hung to dry -- practicing, you know) and hit the road happy.

Now, back to packing . . .

Plans, Cancer, Serendipity

We've just survived a cancer scare. This is our first major health scare, so we're calling it our debut into the stage of aging bodies, boring conversations about our current aches and pains, and expensive prescriptions.

Stephen's doctor has been monitoring his PSA for about a year. Because it has remained high, he referred him to a urologist recently. Did you know they can do a digital exam of the prostate gland? (I will leave the details up to your imagination.) Since his PSA was high and his prostate enlarged, the urologist did a biopsy and told us that there was a 30-50% chance of cancer. We got the lab results yesterday: no cancer detected.

Waiting for results offered me a great opportunity to practice serendipity. Stephen gave me a book for Christmas by Richard M. Eyre called "The Three Deceivers/ The Three Alternatives." The three deceivers of this world are Control, Ownership, and Independence. When we live our lives from these paradigms, the results are not what we've been led to believe. Guess what the alternative paradigm is to thinking you have control over your life? Serendipity. Which I define as keeping an open mind and heart, so that whatever comes into your life you can welcome with optimism and joy. Yes, even "bad" things. Like cancer or cancelled plans.

Maybe you've heard stuff like this before. I had. How cancer brings its own gifts. How people learn valuable lessons through difficult trials. Sometimes it just feels like great theory, or great theology, so I do welcome opportunities to test whether I'm really "getting" it. Last week was an interesting test of my commitment to Serendipity.

I did remain calm and open, unworried. My approach to potential trouble is to play out various scenarios that may occur, "practice" my response, then put it all in a mental box to pull out as necessary. I can do this fairly fast now, perhaps because I include the Lord in the practice runs. So last week I created three boxes: A) Stephen doesn't have cancer and we'll proceed with our life (and our Big Trip) as planned. B) He does have cancer, but we can manage it and still do a modified trip. C) He's going to die soon and all my plans will change in a major way.

Remember that General Conference talk by Joseph B. Wirthlin called "Come What May -- and Love It"? That's the idea of Serendipity. Come what may -- I can handle it, I can be glad of it, I can love it. I believe in living life like that. We really don't have control over anything but our own will. So we can decide how to respond to whatever comes our way. That we can control.

Traveling with an attitude of Serendipity is crucial to a good experience. No matter how much I plan and prepare, no matter what my expectations, something will go "wrong" and lots of things won't be what I expect. So as I work on our travel plans, I'm always aware that Barcelona or Ibiza may not be what I anticipate, our home exchanges may have glitches, we're certain to get lost somewhere, someone will get sick, and it's bound to cost more than my careful budget projections. But that all makes me smile. Because I'm certain that Barcelona will offer up unexpected gifts, we'll find hidden gems of experience while we're lost, and the budget? Oh well.